Carynn Josue

Happy 1st Anniversary, my love

2011-09-07T01:00:00.001+08:00

"To many, the most important day in their life is their wedding day. The day they commit themselves to someone else and hope that the commitment will last forever. After all, you are investing your heart into an entity that may give you dividends or fall sharply.

Marriages don’t always have a fairy tale ending, sometimes the prince turns out to be a frog or the princess turns into a pumpkin, but if you can’t go into commitment thinking that it won’t work.

You have to believe with every ounce of your conviction that it will work. Believe that in that time of commitment you will exchange more than vows, you will share something so esoterically compelling that it will be worth every bit of it.

Some people want to be together forever and they think marriage will seal that fate, but forever has a time limit. Knowing that, commitment is still a promise to yourself and your partner to be faithful.

It is not to be taken lightly or to scare you. Go into it with an open heart, and your eyes will be opened to all lessons of the heart.

You will learn more about the other person and yourself than you knew existed. It’s like learning a whole new language and you have to teach yourself how to speak. After a while you will speak like a native, until you become so facile that you understand the nuances.

In those cases where a commitment doesn’t turn out like you thought it would, it’s not that commitments don’t last, just that they are never like your expectations.

That’s where all commitments fall apart. If the pictures don’t match, you panic and think you’ve made a mistake. Commitment makes you a different person, it makes you face yourself and decisions.

If you don’t like what you see, you will be miserable, but when you examine your misery, you may find that you are rejecting change. This is not to say that if you are miserable you should stay in the situation, it simply means that if something makes you miserable, it is a wake up call so you can change the outcome.

Your life is your project. You can add to it or subtract from it, but it’s yours. If commitment doesn’t make you happy, then find out what does.

If you choose to go through life alone, then it is obviously your choice, but if you choose to share your spiritual bounty with another lucky soul, your life becomes heightened because you are stepping outside of yourself.

Even if it means Lady GaGa donning the white jumpsuit and singing Stand By Me, “No, I won't be afraid, oh, I won't be afraid just as long as you stand, stand by me...”

Love magnifies you and makes you happy. Not a bad return for a little commitment."

http://soulmeetsworld.com/

Happy 1st Anniversary

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I am nothing

2011-09-03T20:35:00.003+08:00

Here, is the only place for me to tell what's in my mind, my thought, and my feeling...

Irreversible, the damage is made.

I am hurt.

I am not pretty, I am just an ugly barbie girl. Yet, I am still learning how to be a grown-up. I sleep all days and nights, and being grumpy all the time. I do moan all the time too.

I have a very bad habit, I sniff everything and I have my own smelly cloth that I can sniff all day long.

I am not a perfect wife, always argue with my love one. I am not ready for anything yet, nor having my own children.

I don't have decency to speak out my mind, I cry like a pig.

I don't deserve love even though I am loved.

I don't have a closed friend.

I am nothing.........

Away, away, away

2011-08-18T19:24:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, I feel like running away from here to a place where no one knows me.

I want to get away from facing the harsh realities of life..........................

Winner & Loser in Love

2011-05-11T10:35:00.009+08:00

Kutu Hike

2009-11-07T15:55:00.030+08:00

Raleigh International Kuala Lumpur November Monthly Meeting

7th November 2009

Peretak, Kuala Kubu Baru

KUTU HIKE

Trail Distance: 5.53miles
Elevation min: 683 feet, max: 3,550 feet
Accum. height uphill: 3,133 feet, downhill: 344 feet
Difficulty level: Moderate

Gunung Kutu with Raleigh on Saturday morning was indeed a good exercise to build up stamina and endurance. This was a hike that I kind of waited for three years, previously it was dark before even we reach the top. We broke up into three teams of Alpha, Bravo and Charlie. The trail has all its adventure kind from mud trekking, crossing river, crawling over fallen bamboos, climbing over fallen trees and little bit of rock climbing skills to the highest peak rock. The hike took 4 hours and another 3 to decent.

We'll never make another memory.......

2009-10-20T21:08:00.002+08:00

p.s. Please play the clip while reading the post.

Complete and total adoration

My gift to you, my heart was yours

In ten weeks you shaped it

In one night you murdered it

Torn from my chest and laid at your feet

That first step that you took was the worst

Since then you've walked a thousand miles in solace and short remark

And I still have these memories

But will never see what we could have been

Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?

Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?

Remember, because that's all you can do

We'll never make another memory

I wish I would have died in your arms the last time we were together

So I wouldn't have to wake without you today

This time I thought things were real

You said they were

What happened?

You were a priority

Was I an option?

I let you see a side of me that I don't share with anyone

Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled

Knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart

I'm just sorry that it wasn't enough

So, we'll go our own ways

And hopefully you'll remember these things I've told you

Hopefully you'll understand that everything I said is in sincerity

A broken heart is not what I wanted from this

But I guess I've learned from it

But aren't you supposed to learn from your mistakes?

I don't consider this a mistake

I just wish the story didn't end this way

Because I'm still in love with the person who helped me write it

Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?

Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?

Happy Deepavali to my dear friends

2009-10-17T00:01:00.001+08:00

Happy Deepavali 2009

May the divine light of diwali spreads into your life, peace, prosperity, happiness, and good health

Best wishes....

10th October 2009

2009-10-10T20:53:00.014+08:00

It's been a long time I didn't comwhore in a fitting room. I miss Winnie so much, wish she was here so that we could 'rock' those fitting rooms together. Apparently, I went to Forever 21 all alone after collecting medicine from SJMC this afternoon.

I love this dress so much, I look like a bohemian with the dress on me. It's too expensive tho', but I will try to get it no matter how before Christmas. Hehehe.. *smirk*

I tried on few dresses... but.. they are nothing compared to my "leopard" dress.. *wink wink*

Hmmmm mmmm... Guess what, I bought this dress. It's the cheapest dress I ever had in my wardrobe. *wink wink*

Frankly, on this particular day, 10th October 2009, I learnt the meaning of smile. I will never forget this special day where 3 special strangers passed through my life. Really nice to meet them. Honestly, I am really really very happy today. And on this day, I am officially a member of WWF.

God bless....

I called it - AB + normal

2009-10-09T20:22:00.016+08:00

Funny + Incredible + Magical = ???????

MAGIC EYES !!!

ABnormal !!!

Retarded?!

Trail Cleaning

2009-10-06T17:30:00.001+08:00

Raleigh Kuala Lumpur October Monthly Meet

3rd October 2009

Kota Damansara Community Forest Park

GO GREEN!!

Cleaning the trail at Kota Damansara Community Forest Park together with Malaysia Nature Society (MNS)

Zooriffic 5

2009-10-05T21:27:00.000+08:00

Raleigh Kuala Lumpur, 1st August 2009

Zoo Negara

Zooriffic 5

To serve the community and Mother Nature voluntarily.
To create awareness among the public to love and protect wildlife.

.............

2009-09-30T23:46:00.000+08:00

I want to blog something here.. But I am so blank....

I want to sleep now... But I am restless...

Anyway...

Good night.....

.....................

亂

2009-09-29T19:22:00.000+08:00

夜裡難以入睡　用什麼可以麻醉　情緒太多怎堪面對
不是不要你陪　有些事你無法體會　卸下了防備　孤獨跟隨
我想要一個自己的空間　能夠好好想想我們之間的明天
如果愛情不如我們想像的甜美　那麼所有的罪讓我來揹
我的心太亂　要一些空白　你若是明白　讓我暫時的離開
我的心太亂　不敢再貪更多愛　想哭的我　卻怎麼哭也哭不出來
我的心太亂　要一些空白　老天在不在　忘了為我來安排
我的心太亂　害怕愛情的背叛　想哭的我
像是一個迷路小孩　迷路的小孩

Ultimate Relationship

2009-09-27T11:46:00.002+08:00

The Ultimate Relationship

You can search for someone your entire life and still not find them. You can pretend that you're happy until you look in the mirror. Sometimes the simplest of things can seem difficult and the answers to your problems are right under your nose. Simple? Not really.

At times, in order to get to the roots you have to chop down the tree. The same holds true for you. In order to know what you want in another person, you must first know what you want in yourself. You may not even require or even want another person in your life right now. Who says that you have to get married? Or have kids? Probably your parents. Just because they had you doesn't mean you are obligated to give them grandchildren as a token of thanks.

You can have the best relationship in your life, better than anything else - the ultimate. You don’t have to look for it because the person is already in your life. The ultimate relationship is with you, so indulge in the fascination. Marriage, children and grandchildren are all extensions of the ultimate relationship and only if you want them.

Take a moment now and look inside of yourself. What are your wants? Needs? Are they both the same? Are you dancing to your heartbeat? You’ll find all the answers underneath the barriers, pretense and confetti. They were always there, but not always seen.

Do you feel that you want to share the answers with someone?ANYONE? They are probably still new to you. The relationship starts as being one dimensional. The dialogue is between you and the mirror and you discover each other innermostly. You decide that you don’t want to be alone.

After fortifying your fragile ego with cushion after cushion and a couple of lifeboats thrown in for good measure, you are ready to enter the fierce waters of love -- a two dimensional relationship.

Suddenly the mirror is replaced with another face. The dialogue is between two individuals. Questions the mind races to answer? Should I reveal everything? Should I leave something to the imagination? Perhaps bare my soul and hope nothing leaks out from the pressure? Is learning to love a natural talent? Are you prepared for anything? You want to be close but not too close. Are there life preservers standing by so you won’t drown from your own ignorance and poor judgment of trusting that other soul.

If fencing swords are drawn whose blood would flow? Now you’re ready to make an even exchange, your secrets for theirs. When emotional contracts are negotiated, the relationship becomes three dimensional. Something beyond your wildest imagination, but still within reality. It’s so intense that you don’t know if you can handle it? You begin to rehearse the same dialogue. “I love you so much that I would burn at the stake for you even though I’m a vegetarian.”

In no time you’ve both learned the lines of love and can complete each others sentences along with facial expressions and gestures. Quite a performance for two amateurs who took a chance on fate.

Suddenly the motion shifts and the characters change for the worse. The image in the mirror is out of focus, and you’re barely in view. What happened to love? It’s wounded so it retreats back inside of you.

You could have sworn that it would have lasted forever. What went wrong? It was deep. What was once marvelous and full of exhilarating textures has left a gaping hole in your heart and soul. It hurts. You’re bleeding. You can’t handle it, but you have no choice. You grin and bear it even though your heart is on fire.

A full 360 degrees later, the relationship is back to one dimensional. Life has gained a deeper meaning. You have gained an understanding. When it’s all been said and done, the ultimate relationship is truly the one with yourself and it can only be enhanced with what you are willing to risk.

www.soulmeetsworld.com

Relation... Pravsworld

2009-09-18T13:21:00.002+08:00

Royal Mail

2009-09-15T19:40:00.013+08:00

Today...

I was on the way back to my apartment, I suddenly got a very strong instinct out from nowhere that stopped me at the mail box. I peeked inside to the mail box and I saw a big envelope. I thought it wasn't for me, but the "Royal Mail" caught my eyes. WTF, only the house owner has the key to unlock the mail box.

At that very moment, I inserted my bare hand into the hole without thinking twice and tried to pull out the Royal mail.

You wouldn't believe that, I did it. I pulled out the mail from the tiny hole until I hurt my hand. LOL!!! Royal Mail from Shaun Davies!!!! OMG, I was so happy and overwhelmed receiving the mail. Doesn't matter if I hurt myself, does it?

I quickly went back to my room and unwrapped the mail. Guess what, It's a small booklet of " How to play violin" by Paul Arnold, copyright 1928. OMG, I was so touched. Thanks Shaun. XXX... It'd help me a lot. I promise, I will play you all the songs one day.

It smells fusty, old smell of 1928. Hehe.. I like the smell tho'.

The first song I want to learn from this booklet is...

Good-bye sweetheart, Good-bye...

Thanks Shaun, I really love it. You've made my day, no no no... suppose to be my week. You've made my whole week. I was hoping you to write me a letter instead of "short" letter. Hehe..

p.s. I've missed you...

Outing with Chin Auntie

2009-09-13T19:18:00.002+08:00

I was so surprised when I received a text from Chin Auntie asking me out for window shopping at the Curve. Of course I was overwhelmed and excited about it, because I never been to the Curve before.

Chin Auntie brought me and Auntie Irene to Sanctuary/ Sutra for lunch. I didn't know her husband is the shareholder of the restaurant until after I'd finished eating there.

The interior of the restaurant is so nice.. Indeed, it's a Thai restaurant.

She ordered so much of dishes for us. Hmmm.. I think 7 dishes all together.

Tom yam is my all time favourite tho'.

Honestly, the foods are very nice, especially the bean curd, butter chicken and tom yam.. Yummy yummy...

Guess what, one of the waiter there is so handsome. OMG.. damn handsome and tall. I wished I could snap a picture together with him and asked for his contact number. LOL..

Chin Auntie

Auntie Irene

p.s. Thanks Chin Auntie, you made my day...

Friday's Fridays

2009-09-11T19:29:00.039+08:00

We all feel something missing without Sumathy Buffalo in IMR. It's been a week now, we've missed her MENGADA-ADA and WHAT.

Buffalo, Donkey and Wild boar miss you so much la... Jangan mengada-ada ya, come back here whenever you have holiday ya...

We have 2 hours 30 minutes break every FRIDAY. Buffalo, Donkey and Wild boar used to hang out together, had wonderful time together. But this friday....=(... We went out without her. Wished she was here.

Vino akka, Tanesh, Donkey, and Wild boar went to Pavilion by monorail. But we dropped by Sungai Wang to check on the Digital SLR. Apparently, Donkey is planning to get one. Cool man..

Then, we walked to Pavilion. We were so hungry and decided to have our lunch at T.G.I Fridays. Woohoo.. That was a big FRIDAY for us.

Tanesh ordered watermelon juice, sizzling chicken and Cajun chicken pasta.

Donkey ordered chocolate milk shake, sizzling chicken, and boneless chicken. Yeah, too much!!!

Whilst, Vino akka ordered chocolate chips milk shake, macaroni + cheese, and vege chili pasta.

Hmmm.. for me, I'd ordered watermelon juice and JD steak ONLY. Hehe.. beef is my favorite, medium rare. WTF!!!!!!

Literally, they'd ordered too much of foods. They had hard time to finish them up. I was the one helping them. Gosh, I think i've got hungry dogs in my stomach. Real big appetite I had on friday. (Winnie, I think I got it from you.)

She tried her best to finish it.. but... awww... failed!!!!!

Even Donkey couldn't finished his meal, he let me finished half portion of his meal.

Everyone became like a SNAKE after the meal.. too FULL!!!!! Tanesh was like half dead!! LOL

My stomach was blotted.. Burbbbbbbbbb... hehe..

Eventually, Donkey ordered one glass of limeade. Yeah, it helped us to digest. Nice one tho'.

I felt GOOOOOOOD!!!!

After lunch, we went back to IMR. I had a short nap on the "thinking chair". hehe..

Guess what, we had photography session later that day...

Oh ya, that's my new Punjabi suit by the way... WHITE!!!

Haha.. I like the 2 pictures below. Hey Donkey, you lack of Carbon Dioxide ah?!!! Haha..

OMG!! Haha...

Black & White

Vino akka & Gubendran

Vino akka, Tanesh, & me

Yeah, Firday's Fridays!!

Crazy Friday!!!

Funny la @@

It's blur... wtf

Mengada betul!!!

p.s. We all miss you, dear Buffalo....

Happy Birthday Shaun Davies

2009-09-11T03:59:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Shaun, King of the day....

I’m wishing you another year
Of laughter, joy and fun,
Surprises, love and happiness,
And when your birthday’s done,

I hope you feel deep in your heart,
As your birthdays come and go,
How very much you mean to me,
More than you can know.

Specially from, Carynn Tanduba

x x x

sweet & sour

2009-09-06T19:06:00.005+08:00

"At times we don't appreciate things when its already there, as it's natural behaviour by many of us. Then sooner, regretting for things we've taken for granted," said Gubendran.

Yeah I agree with him, he is right. Literally, he is regretting now, for he has taking things for granted. Padan muka!!!!

Expression from a young lady... "I don't want you to take me for granted. Sometimes, I just want to know that I'm loved."

"I wish you were here with me, hold my hands and talk to me in the candle night. I want you to be by my side when I need you the most, just a lil' more care."

"Sometimes, I feel so lonely till I wanted to quit my job and go back to my hometown... It sounds pathetic, I know. But I don't have anyone else here except you."

"I am actually cherishing all the sweet memories we had together, but... The truth is, sweet memories making me pain inside and missing you even more..."

"Love is wealth and when it is spread, we are all wealthy."

p.s. I love you.....

$$$$$$$$$$$$

2009-09-05T10:32:00.005+08:00

I want my pay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't have money right now!!!!!!!!

I am sort of broke!!!!!!!!!

Kewangan in IMR is way too mengada-ada!!!!!!!!

WTF

Buffalo, Donkey, & Wild boar

2009-09-03T22:51:00.026+08:00

Quite sad though, Sumathy or fondly known as Buffalo is leaving us soon. Friday would be her last day in IMR Virology. She'd be continuing her Masters degree in USM Penang. Well, good for her, Virology will not give her any future. Yeah, Buffalo, go go go... Jangan mengada-ada!!!

Literally, I brought my violin to work today (Vino akka asked me to bring tho') and I played Baa Baa Black Sheep for Buffalo. Ah-hmmmm.... Hope you like it, Buffalo. I know it was a horrible, but at least I tried my best. LOL.

Besides, we had a lil' violin class in the staff room. Of course, Wild boar was the "violin teacher". Hahahah...

Gubendran Donkey was so mengada-ada!!! He is left-handed, so it's a bit hard for him to play the instrument. But still, OMG, I couldn't TAHAN, Donkey was very mengada-ada!!!

Aiyoyo... not that way lah!!!

Degil betul, my violin is for right-handed, but he was so stubborn. Aiyoyoyo......

Yeah, so awkward!!! Donkey betul!!!!

Mengada betul!!!!!!

Huh, this one looked better!! Well done, Buffalo!!

Hehe.. My pleasure!!!

Buffalo, Donkey & Wild boar camwhoring session!!!

Donkey and Wild boar are going to miss Buffalo very much. Especially her "MENGADA-ADA". Aiyoyo...

p.s. All the best to you Buffalo, God bless you always. Don't forget to keep in touch ya... Love you..xxxxx

Learning violin.. My dream

2009-08-30T19:16:00.006+08:00

I went to my first violin class today.. It was awesome, I have my own violin now.

I feel much more confident and proud of myself playing instrument. Woow... POSH!!!

I wish I could play like David Garett in the future..

A reason, a season, or a lifetime

2009-08-25T20:28:00.004+08:00

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person..

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support,

to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,

this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh..

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,

things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson,

love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Ponder....

2009-08-21T13:19:00.005+08:00

I was a dead person the past few days.

I couldn't imagine what would happen if I had no faith. I've been through one of the miserable tragedy in my life. Yeah, life is misery sometimes. Only heaven knows....

Thank God for listening to my prayer. The LOVE is growing.

p.s. Don't listen to people rumor.

New chapter of life

2009-07-20T08:02:00.003+08:00

Yeah, Joey is right. My life right now is like watching one of the characters from the hills move on to the city. It's like the beginning of a new chapter in my life.

It's not too bad after all, I am learning how to spread my wings and one day I will learn to fly. I've equipped myself with flying theories, it's just I have to overcome all the obstacles I am going to face right in front of me. Strong wind, hot sun, storm, harsh weather and tornado await me. "Stay strong," said mummy, "I will always there for you."

It might be very rough in the beginning, but I will be fine after that. When I know to how to fly, the world belongs to me. That'd become the next chapter of my life...

>>>> To be continued

Whatdafak..

2009-07-13T11:42:00.002+08:00

I am having the worst migraine I ever had in my life, the stubborn pain doesn't want to go away since yesterday evening. I thought it would go away after dawn, but it's coming back again in the morning.

How am I going to start my day with the migraine? I think I'd just stay in my room the whole day, watching movies, munch my favourite kacang Ipoh, and relax. No plan for today. WTF

Welcome home!!! I suppose..

2009-07-11T23:25:00.014+08:00

Basically, I've moved from Serdang to Wangsa Maju. Here I am, at Alpha Villa condo, Wangsa Maju. Speaking of which, I really like my room (even thought it's a lil' too small) and the condo as well. The condo is damn freaking nice, wtf!! I feel more comfortable with the place compared to the new house at Serdang. Literally, I never spent even a night there since the day I rented the room, it was creepy~~

Anyway, I want to show you my room and the condo...

Cute small window in my room...

My mini table and my MacBook...

My mini garment and my stuffs... Cute isn't it..

Living room...

Guess what, I can admire KL's night view from here..

There's Petronas Twin Tower...

The kitchen...

Cool stove. I can cook here, wtf..

The refrigerator..

The washing machine...

I will get used to my new room and my new environment, everything. I have to be more independent and take good care of myself then. Hope everything is fine. I just don't want to be alone. God bless..

p.s. Thanks Lex for helping me to move in.. xxx

1st step

2009-07-09T11:23:00.003+08:00

I found myself crying over something that a grown up would never does. I am so scared and I feel so alone.

I will start working next thursday. Frankly, I am not ready for that yet. I hate to go to work, and I hate the routine that a worker has to go through everyday.

I am heading out the house right now to look for a room to rent, a place that is very near to my work place. Guess what, I'd be staying alone and go to work alone. I don't want to be alone. I tend to make myself think a lot and bukan-bukan. Ahhhhh.. *sob sob...

Oh my 1st step out...

The day I felt I am alive

2009-07-08T18:13:00.007+08:00

A week after, after being paranoid myself in pain and haunted in the dark, I suddenly feel released, thousand tons of rocks has dropped from my heart, and I feel like I'm alive.

"Dear gal, you don't have to worry anything. I just need some time to settle my jobs. I am doing new projects to establish myself in the field of arts. You are the most special thing happen to me. Don't worry and remember, I love you. Muax."

I woke up in the morning and saw the message. That's the answer I was looking all this while. I was so happy and.. OMG, I just don't know how to express the feeling. I don't feel the clingly to him anymore. Woohooo... I always love you, honey. At the same time, I got a confirmation from the Institute for Medical Research that I've been successful in the application as a temporary research office with the salary for about RM 2,000.

Yeah, WTF...

Pain-body and Me

2009-06-25T12:10:00.011+08:00

“At first sight it may seem that the pain-body is the greatest obstacle to the arising of a new consciousness in humanity. It occupies your mind, controls and distorts your thinking, disrupts your relationships, and feels like a dark cloud that occupies your entire energy field. It tends to make you unconscious, spiritually speaking, which means totally identified with mind and emotion. It makes you reactive, makes, you say and do things that are designed to increase the unhappiness within yourself and the world.

As unhappiness increases, however, it also causes increases disruption in your life. Perhaps the body can’t take the stress anymore and develops an illness or some dysfunction. Perhaps you become involved in an accident, some huge conflict situation or drama that was caused by the pain body’s desire for something bad to happen, or you become the perpetrator of physical violence. Or it all becomes too much and you cannot live with your unhappy self anymore. The pain-body, of course, is part of the false self.”

My dysfunctional and negative thought are actually feeding my "pain-body", it is now dominates my entire soul which continuously disrupts my body's natural state of well being. I must stop feeding them negative thought which is the food for the "pain-body". (Frankly, I feel like I am actually feeding "him" to my "pain-body".)

How much I wish Winnie were here, so that I can chit-chat with her about everything, go shopping and camwhoring every way we like. I missed being crazy and wild together with her. Intruded those awesome dresses and fitting rooms, and chilled out with a cup of GREEN TEA LATTE. I missed being Tayra Bank. Hehe.. wtf.

I feel like going out right now!!! Winnie!!!!!!!!!! Where are you????????

Tell Him

2009-06-24T14:34:00.000+08:00

I'm scared
So afraid to show I care
Will he think me weak
If I tremble when I speak
Oooh - what if
There's another one he's thinking of
Maybe he's in love
I'd feel like a fool
Life can be so cruel
I don't know what to do

I've been there
With my heart out in my hand
But what you must understand
You can't let the chance
To love him pass you by

Tell him
Tell him that the sun and moon
Rise in his eyes
Reach out to him
And whisper
Tender words so soft and sweet
Hold him close to feel his heart beat
Love will be the gift you give yourself

Touch him
With the gentleness you feel inside
Your love can't be denied
The truth will set you free
You'll have what's mean to be
All in time you'll see

I love him
Of that much I can be sure
I don't think I could endure
If I let him walk away
When I have so much to say

Tell him
Tell him that the sun and moon
Rise in his eyes
Reach out to him
And whisper
Tender words so soft and sweet
Hold him close to feel his heart beat
Love will be the gift you give yourself

Love is light that surely glows
In the hearts of those who know
It's a steady flame that grows
Feed the fire with all the passion you can show
Tonight love will assume its place
This memory time cannot erase
Your faith will lead love where it has today

What is LOVE? I am still learning

2009-06-16T10:42:00.002+08:00

I am in LOVE!!! wooow..

Love? What is love? How to define love? How to proof it is love? Does it last forever?

"A bell is no bell till you ring it, a song is no song till you sing it. And love in your heart is not put to stay; for love is not love, till you give it away." - Oscaer Hammerstein

"It is not how much we do, but how much love we put into doing it. It is not how much we give, but how much love we put into giving.' - Mother Teresa

"Love strats with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear." - Dana Loeffel
(Sometimes, I fear of love, because it might hurts me in the end.)

"Love cannot be explained, but it can be experienced." - unknown

"Love is like war: easy to begin, hard to end." - unknown

For instance, I want to experience the processes of love with you, and cherish every moments we had. What is love? I am still learning tho'....

p.s. I love you Lex..

Hello! World!

2009-06-15T10:51:00.003+08:00

Yes, it's been a while that I didn't update my blog. Honestly, I missed blogging so much as it's the best medium for me to express myself. Oh well, where should I start? I have so many things to share.

APRIL

I attended UPM Arts Award (MASENI) as one of the candidates as well as a dance performer that night. Literally it's my last dance as a student in UPM.

Guess what, I was extremely happy that I got 2 awards that night. Anugerah Emas MASENI 2009 and Anugerah Delima Budi.

Anugerah Emas MASENI 2009 and Anugerah Delima Budi

Right after my final exam, I joined Biology Graduation Trip to Redang Island together with my roomie and Vivian.

Buzzy Boy and me --> off to snorkeling

Just came back from underwater shopping, as if.. wtf

Carynn, Winnie and Vivan

Snorkeling snap snap =)

High high I jumped!!!

Finding Nemo underwater

The night that I really missed him...

Frankly, I got terrible sunburn after snorkeling twice in a day. I had hard time to lie down on my back, wtf.

Sunburnt!!!

Kiss kiss Buzzy Boy!

Temperory tattoo

MAY

Biotechnology Graduation Trip to Sabah, my hometown.. hehe..

National Park

Mamutik Island

Posing in between the trees.. Orang Utan.. haha

White water rafting

Zali group!! Hi-5

Well, I went to Miri and Kuching one week after my graduation trip. Actually I was being sponsored by Kok Hock to visit him in Miri. He paid all my expenses in Miri including the flight tickets from KK to Miri and from Miri to Muching. hahaha... I got the opportunity to stay at 5 starts Eastwood Resort for 2 night. It was so incredible!!! C'est la vie!!!

Niah National Park, Miri --> My 3 new friends I met in Miri

Niah Cave --> Our Sejarah text book's front cover

Carynn bah tu!!

Light up my life.. Please..

JUNE

Currently in KL staying with Lex and his family. Between, I am going back to KK on 22nd June, next monday tho'.

p.s. Sweet sweet memories I ever had!!

Malaysia Earth Hour 28th March 2009

2009-03-28T23:02:00.017+08:00

Earth Hour has gone global this year, and Malaysia has participated in this event too.. Earth Hour 2009 is a global call to action to every individual, every business and every community. A call to stand up, to take responsibility and to get involved in working towards a sustainable future.

I voted myself in the Earth Hour. I went to Suria KLCC with Vivian to support the Earth Hour.

Suria KLCC

People were crowded around the square

Beautiful Petronas Twin Towers before light off

The clock showed 8.15pm, 15 minutes to Earth Hour. Vivian and I were sitting down on the wet ground and wet our butt off.. LOL.. I had a cup of green tea latte from Starbucks Coffee while waiting for the Earth Hour.

Few minutes to go... We were all ready... Cameras ready... A reporter and those crews were ready behind me too..

Sharp at 8.30pm... Happy Earth Hour Malaysia...

Petronas Twin Towers after light off

Millions of people world-wide cast their votes in support of the Earth, urging world leaders to take action to fight global warming.

Earth Hour is a message of hope and a message of action. Together we can take control of the future of our planet, our future generations. Because our planet is worth saving.

Malaysia did it for EARTH HOUR 2009. I am proud of it.

Nut vs Monkey

2009-03-25T07:35:00.005+08:00

Does nut sound interrelated to monkey?

Do monkeys love to eat nuts?

They are nut business and monkey business, aren't they?

Is that some kind of monkey business that makes people nut?

Or because of nut business that makes people become monkeys?

Would you give me monkey if I gave you nut?

ps: I wish I could sorted out the puzzl...

21.03.2009

2009-03-22T05:22:00.005+08:00

The performance was perfect and we enjoyed it so much. I had great time with all the dancers and we were totally "crazy" throughout the night, especially during dinner and in the car while we were on the way back. We had Indian foods for our dinner and it was so YUMMY. Guess what, 9 people were "squeezed" into a Kenari Car. That is what we called it CAR POOL. wtf..

Mages & Carynn in smokey eyes

Nanda & Carynn

According to Lakshman, Nanda is a very hardworking and nice guy.. hmmm mmm... I wish I could stuffed him into my backpack and bring him back. Hahaha... Joking!!

Lakshman in the mask

I was so surprised to see Lex in the studio and I was totally overwhelmed with his present. I missed him so much because it's been a while I didn't see him. He said he is currently busy with his theater and dance production.

ooooo... Scary~~

Carynn d'lady being bullied by Lex d'monster

Lex drove us back to college and we had some chitchat in the car... Looking forward to dance with Lex for the upcoming performance tho'.

They made me to dance

2009-03-21T06:03:00.005+08:00

I met those girls last night. It's been a while that I didn't see them. Frankly, I just wanted to visit those girls during their dance practice for the performance tonight. But they made me to join the dance. OMG, I wasn't ready for that because I haven't dance since my last performance last year because I was too busy with my final year project. Ok, anyway, I am in. The performance is later tonight at Selayang, near Batu cave. Grant wedding ceremony for the local singer. I took 10 minutes to learn the dance. It's simple and nice. Great.... wtf

Mages & Carynn in "twin uniforms"

Everyone was asking why both of us were wearing the same color T-shirt and pants. Well, It was just a coincident. Oppsssy... We always have the tendency to wear the same. Pink, blue, and brown that's the way it is.. ah huh ah huh...

Really missed them so much.. I still remember we used to have practice until midnight and I had to stay over in their room. We had so much of great time together. The most unforgettable time is how we been through our exam without doing any revision because we used to have back-to-back performances and yet enjoyed. Eventually, we got good results tho'. wtf

Time flies.. I am graduating soon and I am going to miss Indian dancing.. Awwwww....

Breathe

2009-03-20T13:22:00.004+08:00

I see your face in my mind as I drive away

Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way

But people are people and sometimes we change our minds

But its killin me to see you go after all this time

Mhmmm mhmmm mmmm mmmmm mmm

mmmm mmmmm mmmm mmmmm mmm

Music starts playing like the end of a sad movie

It’s the kind of ending you don’t really wanna see

Cause it’s tragedy and it’ll only bring you down

Now I don’t know what to be without you around

And we know it’s never simple never easy

Never a clean break, no one here to save me

You’re the only thing I know like the back of my hand

And I can’t breathe without you but I have to

Breathe, without you but I have to

Never wanted this, never wanted to see you hurt

Every little bump in the road I’ve tried to swerve

But people are people and sometimes it doesn’t work out

Nothing we say now is gonna save us from the fall out

And we know it’s never simple never easy

Never a clean break, no one here to save me

You’re the only thing I know like the back of my hand

And I can’t breathe without you but I have to

Breathe, without you but I have to

It’s 2 am

Feelin like I just lost a friend

Hope you know it’s not easy, easy for me

Its 2 am

Feelin like I just lost a friend

Hope you know this aint easy, easy for me

And we know it’s never simple never easy

Never a clean break, no one here to save me

Oh I can’t breathe without you but I have to

Breathe, without you but I have to

Oh I can’t breathe without you but I have to

Breathe, without you but I have to

I’m sorry.. I’m sorry.. I’m sorry

(Lyric Taylor Swift)

Carynn in PJs'

2009-03-19T12:55:00.012+08:00

Frankly!!! Carynn in her pyjamas and hugging her pinky froggy.

It was a coincident actually, and I didn't plan to buy any pyjamas that evening. It just occurred SPONTANEOUSLY together in time or space!! I was in the La senza buying T-bags... ah huh ah huh... While Winnie was paying at the counter, those cutie pyjamas intentionally caught my attention. I didn't hesitate to try on them.

I tried the first, and I really liked it... Well, I do like it (although a lil' too big for me).

The second one, looked too green and FROGGY. wtf.. But I'd like to dedicate this picture to Shaun. Greeeeeeeeeen.

The first thought Winnie had was, "take a picture of you in this green pyjamas and show it to Shaun." Haha.. Everyone knows he likes green now. MFT..

*Yawning*... Hmmm... That was nice too, but I looked like an lady in an old man pyjamas. *shhhhh...

Imagine both of us wearing pyjamas in the same room.. Hmmmm... cute cute cute.. wtf..

Guess what, I had my favorite Tom Yam from "Flying Chillies" in The Garden for lunch. The problem is, I'll get diarrhea every time after eating spicy foods. I still remember the last time I had Tom yam from the same place and I ran back and forth from Starbucks Coffee to the toilet. It was like I had to hug the toilet bowl almost in every 10 minutes. wtf..

We went to Zara too... Crazy for dresses!!! I looked so sick in the 2 pictures below probably because I didn't feel well after eating Tom Yam. My stomach was having war with FLYING CHILLIES. Hahaha...

I like this...

Looked like a Greek..

I bought 2 novels, "The Hour I First Believe" and "I Know This Much Is True" (Author: Wally Lamb).

I Know This Much Is True Wally Lamb

I was caught in the camera of being too serious, grumpy, and concentrate (probably lost myself in the novel) while reading the novel. Apparently, this novel makes me hard to put it down and stop reading it. It's a brilliant novel I would say. Wally Lamb done a great job writing this novel.

Reading Wally Lamb's novel while having a cup of green tea latte, woooow.. I tell you, it's like heaven. hmmmm.. ah huh ah huh...

Angry seagull

2009-03-09T14:00:00.011+08:00

I had great night speaking to Shaun Davies in Skype last night. We SKYPED for more than 8 hours till morning 4.30am. I am feeling so sleepy right now actually because I woke up at 10am, had only 5 hours of sleep. But, WORTH it since we didn't speak to each other for 2 weeks after he started working in JCA. Really missed him so much.

I am so great that I've got his short letter he sent to me.. huh hummmm....

So sweet... xxx

Shaun is really a hyper active, funny, smart, charming and adventurous type of guy. I just couldn't stop laughing whenever I speak to him. We talk about everything, including SEX. WTF.. LOL. He is good in singing, Irish songs. I will ask him to sing to me while playing with his acoustic guitar.

Red nose reindeer Shaun!!! So cute, no wonder those kids love him so much.

He doesn't like to make peace sign actually, and he prefer thumbs up!! Yeah right!!! He wonders why ASIANs like making peace sign. Well, I do like making it. WTF

Guess what, I think we were so crazy last night. We had "IMPRESSION" competition by acting of an angry seagull. There would be point for enthusiasm. He went first and it was so funny, he jumped off from his bed as if flying while making those squawking *garrrrrk garrrrrk* noices. Then he asked for my turn. Gosh, I didn't want to do it actually, so awkward and stupid. But I did it eventually. And he almost laughed off his paint. WTF.. He said:"Carynn, I like you more now. You impressed me and you've got the courage. Those kids will like you if you're willing to do something crazy." Huh hummm huh hummmm...

The whole conversation was just CRAZY!! I love it.

Wish to talk to him soon.

Lost

2009-02-28T08:21:00.003+08:00

I seem like lost in the jungle. Lost, very lost...

I miss BH, how much I missed you...

Carynn's Random Facts

2009-02-23T07:50:00.003+08:00

1. I got my first scar when I was 6 years old. I fell from a chair to a mosaic floor and I was bleeding so badly. It was also the first time I knew what PAIN is. I covered it with a sticking plaster and sucked up to mom it was just a deco on my knee.

2. I still remember my stupid WEIRD HOBBY when I was 7 years old. I used to catch dragonflies and cut off their wings whilst secured them in a fancy box. Then I'd played with those poor dragon-no-flies, talked to them and wished they could bring my prayers to God. I'd KILLED them after a day and would give them a brutal "funeral" at my backyard, so that they could go to heaven and pass my prayers to God. WTF...lol.

3. I had vivid image of ghosts when I was 10 years old. Whenever my dad drove through the lil' jungle on the way back to my nanny's house, I'd hid my face down at the back seat.

4. I always wanted to have my hair long during my time in kindergarden school. I was jealous to see those lil' girls in pony tails. But my mom would cut it short, very short whenever she saw my hair grew one inch long. I cried everytime she cut my hair.='(

5. I started to grow my hair once I entered secondary school (long hair wasn't allowed during my time in primary school). You wouldn't believe I had very ~~fucking ugly~~ long hair that time, probably you'd laughed at me. WTF.

6. I then started to cut my hair short and became like a TOMGIRL. I never followed the trend of fashion and never wore a single dress. I had confidence in myself tho', but the fact is, I looked like a TOMBOY.

7. I built up my own confidence and strength after I went through the National Service for 3 months, when I was 17 years old. It was the first time I was away from home. I still remember I was crying with a group of girls one night after few weeks in the camp and we started to plan for an escape. And we did. I met my mom in a Chinese temple and she brought me my favourite foods and my favourite papaya juice.

8. I went to Matriculation College in Labuan right after the National Service. My life changed when I was assigned under Biology Stream instead of Physics. I had to memorize those nitrogen pathway, how cancer occurred in our cells,body metabolism, etc. I should admit that I was good in memorizing. Well, I hate to studyPLANTS the most because they are not in my body system. I would skipped those questions related to plants in the exams. But I scored A in Biology.

9. What I mean "my life changed" is when I have chosen Biotechnology for my degree. I learnt that Biotechnology has improved our life but at the same time has put the world in bigger concern. Especially Genetic Modified Foods. Just be very mindful of what we are going to put into our mouth because we might get long term effect from GMOs'. I don't think Biotechnology would be my future career. I want to be a adventurous tracking traveller to go around the world.

10. I've got scholarship from Shell company, where I have extra money to spend during weekends, and my shopping in crimes is Winnie Dominic. We like to camwhore in the fitting rooms with those dresses on us. And my favourite outfit store is Forever 21. I want to stay 21 forever. WTF..

11. I still remember my first interview for the Shell Scholarship on 16th May 2006. I waited there for more than 6 hours before my screening interview. I was so nervous and my palms were sweating like hell. I could felt my heart bumping outside my chest and adrenaline hormone was secreted in the highest amount. I prepared my own script and sucked up my own story on how much I was interested in Biotechnology and how Biotechnology could helps in the industry of oils. And I got it.. LOL..

12. My personalities: Easy going young lady. Love to learn new things. Love outdoor games. Affectionate.Shy and reserved (sometimes). Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Love peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Love to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and return kindness. Observant and assess others. Revengeful. Love to dream and fantasize. Love traveling. Love attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Stubborn for a Taurus lady like me. LOL

13. I love GREEN very much. I have plenty of green tops and jackets, green jade I bought from China, and green strip bikini. I will try to get a silk fancy dress and sexy green underwear one day. LMAO. I love green nature. I love to drink green tea latte and green tea frappucino. I am addicted to them and will try my best to have one from Starbucks Coffee once a week tho'. How crazy I am to GREEN!

14. I love cooking and baking. My favourite cooker is Jamie Oliver other than my mom. I learn how to cook western foods by using different herbs from Jamie Oliver in TV. You should try my herbal roast pork, yummy... I love cheese cakes and I started to learn baking variety of cheese cakes. I made my mom a blueberry cheese cake on her birthday. I tried to make pizza and lagsana before, OMG, I did it..

15. My type of guy: Adventurous, loves traveling, loves mother nature, wises thinking, gentleman, caring, happy-go-lucky, sporting, sporty, great personality, willing to learn new things, loves foods, not really has to be handsome but at least great smiles I'd ask for...

16. I love babies so much, I used to be a baby-sitter when I was 17 years old. I took care of the baby patiently, showered him with love, cleaned his mess without any hesitation, put him to sleep by singing him my favourite children's rhymes. I'd love to have my own in the future.

17. I started to learn Indian dance 3 years ago in my university. At first, I was being forced by Chung Yian Yian (my very first friend I met in university) to join the club. She was the one told me to try out something new. Well then, I joined but she left the club leaving me alone. Anyway, I learnt the dance patiently and did a lot of outside performances. My unforgettable performance (Hero, Mariah Carey) was in the Palace of Golden Horses, Selangor. I participated in indian semiclassical dance competition in my first year and won third place. I once was the president of the club in 2007/2008.

18. What I hate about Malaysia: Racism, fucking bus and train services (I hate waiting), hot weather (I love snow and red autumn leaves by the way), conservatives, and slow development.

19. I don't like people judge me without knowing me better, I don't like being forced and urge me on something I think I should take my time, I don't like politics in the world, I don't like to study Malaysia's history (they were just #%&%@*#), I don't like people who are not punctual in time because I don't like to wait, it'll just makes me tired.

20. My favourite musical instruments are piano and violin. I learnt piano all by myself after I've got familiar with those notes. The very first song I learnt to play was Fúr Elisè. I don't know how to play violin tho' but I like the splendid sound of the violin.

21. I absolutely love Jazz (Both sides now by Jeanette Lindstrom & Steve Dobrogosz, Stay by Alison Krauss, Sylvia Hotel by Cheryl Wheeler) and modern country (Whiskey Lullaby by Brad Paisley, I am still a guy by Brad Paisley). I will listen to them every night before I off to bed and never get tired listening to them. And I started to like Irish songs now especially Whiskey in a jar and Red Haired Mary. Thanks Shaun... =)

22. I hope someone special I am looking for in the future can give me a bedtime story that'd come true when I wake up the next morning and good night kisses every night before I off to bed.

23. I am very feared of EARTHWORMS and whatsoever worms. I will scream and run for my life whenever I see an earthworm or when they contract their body.. Yuksss... Believe it or not, I ate sago worms on 20th June 2008. It was a challenge I took from Speedy (Winnie's sister) during my 2 months industrial training in Kuching. I had diarrhea the next morning. WTF.

Sago worms

Sago worm cooked with tempoyak

24. After my grandfather has passed away this early January 2009, I started to think life differently. Life is way too short and I should appreciate every moment I have to spend with my family and my love ones. I don't care anymore about money $$$ making. In the end, we will die but we couldn't bring the money along with us to the grave. But I will work out for my future and my family. Just want to live my life to the fullest.

25. My new year resolution is to embark in a journey that'd never experienced by busy everyday life. I want to learn diving, dive in the famous islands around the world. I'd love to see those beautiful unique creatures in the sea, I want to go to all the beautiful beaches and tan myself, I want to learn horse riding, I want to go korea to enjoy the gorgeous red autumn, I want to go New Zealand to eat my favourite kiwi fruits and try out the bungee jump. I'd like to visit Abu Simbel Structure in Egypt in the near future.

Should I?

2009-02-13T17:22:00.003+08:00

I am looking forward to my Valentine's date tomorrow...

I am so nervous, wtf!! I could hear my heart beats like F1....

But I never met him before!!! WTF

ma mère

2009-02-08T13:25:00.006+08:00

I realized how much my mom loves me and miss me when I am studying in KL. I didn't mean that she doesn't love me, but she loves me more than I ever imagined. She even cried on the phone because missed me so much.. This is so called mother's love.

Love

MUMMY

Neh Neh Neh

2009-02-07T22:47:00.008+08:00

My previous posts were so dull as dishwater where I realized life is really short, like a burning candle. Anyway, I will live everyday as if it is my last day. I hope this post is gonna be NORMAL again.. wtf!!

In a literal sense, my ROOMIE is losing so much weight!!! Downsizing from S to XS!! What happened to my dearest? I think she needs a day out with CARYNN the crazy! WTF... (Hmmm... Don't forget about W*** T** F***).

Hmmm... A note to Lumi: Don't put yourself under desperation. You ain't alone all the time. There are people around you that really care for you, do appreciate it. As I said, live everyday as if it is your last day. Don't worry about tomorrow because it will takes care of itself. What's the neh neh neh!!! Never cling/obstinate to something that doesn't belong to you. You know, God made people in a very unique way. God bless you... Happy always, smile always because I care.

Good news, I am going to finish my study in less than 3 months time. Can't wait to embark in my new journey of life. I am going to say a long goodbye to any "LAB WORKS".. So long... It's time to rest and go back home. My family wants me to stay by their sides.

Guess what, someone is offering me ticket to Miri. Hooray!!! After that, I will go ngabang in Kuching for Gawai. Aku raan man tempoyak + oyuak. hehehe..

Well, I wonder when Sai Keat would comes over to pay me a visit before going back to States...

p.s. I love you all..xxx

Thank you notes

2009-02-06T21:52:00.005+08:00

Note:

Thank you my dear family members to help me gone through all that.

Thank you Auntie Annie for giving me hopes and the promise you gave to me, looking forward to go Korea in the coming Autumn.

Thank you Sai Keat for helping me in my reports writing. I really appreciate it, without you, I didn't know how to cry my tears out. And thanks for being by my side all the time.

Thanks to all my course mates, thanks for those cheers.

To dust you shall return

2009-02-02T11:42:00.005+08:00

Genesis 3:19

19By the sweat of your face
         You will eat bread,
         Till you return to the ground,
         Because from it you were taken;
         For you are dust,
         And to dust you shall return."

Today is my grandpa's funeral. I am sorry I couldn't be there, I dedicated him white chrysanthemums .. May his soul rest in peace.

Matthew 6:9-11

'Our Father in heaven,
   hallowed be your name,
10your kingdom come,
   your will be done
      on earth as it is in heaven.
11Give us today our daily bread.
12Forgive us our debts,
      as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13And lead us not into temptation,
   but deliver us from the evil one.

Rest in peace, grandpa

2009-01-31T23:30:00.003+08:00

He taught me the first Kadazan word when I was a kid. Isoginawoo means "not sincere" where I used it most of the time through my ages. It's probably best apply on guy that doesn't appreciate a thing.

He used to be a teacher in a primary school and was a principal after that. I adored him very much in sense of educational. He gave me rewards whenever I passed my exam. He wasn't a very rich guy I could say, but RM 50 was considered too much for me. He always supported me and exhorted my parents to give me the best education. He was very proud of me as I am now in university.

He owned a lil' store next to his house. That very lil' store gave me lots of memories where my grandpa always treat us soft drinks whenever we visited him. The classic taste of biscuits dipped into coffee made by him was unforgettable. As a kid, I liked to play around at his backyard, chasing chicken and fishing at the lil' fish pond he used to have.

I got excited whenever my parents said "let's go to visit grandpa". But everything changed now. I received a call late evening today, and I got to know my grandpa has passed away. I didn't have the chance to say goodbye to him... And my tear ducts lost its control...

I just couldn't forget his warmth smiles and his caring palms. How much I wish I could hold his hands and talk to him again. How much I wish I could see his smiles and listen to his sincere advices. How much I wish I could walk him down to his backyard and make him his favorite inawa. How much I wish how much I wish......

I know it's not going to happen, because I couldn't wake him up from his death. I couldn't wake him up no matter how much I cry. The only thing I want from him is, may his soul rest in peace and he'll always be remembered. I want to let him know, I love him...

I LOVE YOU, grandpa...

Random for HSH

2009-01-28T22:14:00.008+08:00

Can't denied that HOME is always the "Home Sweet Home".

Happy to see my dog with her new born puppies, Viva, Dada, and Didi..

Aren't they cute? 3 lil' cuties sucking milk...

Fell asleep after full..

Ah, my dear uncle from Tambunan playing with the horns, looks like babi hutan tho'...

Fireworks on the second day of Chinese New Year... I was trying to learn how to capture fireworks frame using my camera. And it worked...

Eastern Cowgirl in boots... I wish someday I could work in the ranch and meet a handsome western cowboy. LOL

Dim Shum for breakfast on the third day of Chinese New Year... (I don't really like dim shum tho'. It's just a satisfaction over the mouth). 20% additional on the normal price, very expensive.

Lil' Aaron being bullied by his aunt.. He is so cute and gets excited whenever he sees foods.

See, his face was so "comot" like a lil' cat... LOL

p.s. I got severe flu cause didn't take plenty of water these few days. =(

Happy 牛 Year

2009-01-26T22:06:00.012+08:00

Happy 牛 Year in Cowboy Style...

Cowboy dad..

Cowboy uncle

With her wife... First year of giving angpau to us...

Not much of angpau I got this year, but $$$...

I received an angpau in cheque form...

恭喜發財,牛年行大運.

祝願大家身體健康,万事如意.

Happy 牛 Year...

初夕夜晚慶團圓

2009-01-25T22:33:00.014+08:00

I love this particular day where we all gather together as a family.

初夕夜晚慶團圓. Time to say goodbye to RAT YEAR and welcome OX YEAR. 要跟鼠年說拜拜了,準備迎接牛年到來.

I learnt how to play the easiest Mahjong today.

Taking picture in the kitchen of my uncle cleaning up those chickens.

They were playing cards, I'd rather say gamble. hehehe....

Even kids also know hot to play cards. Hmmm...

My uncle bought a bottle of wine from Japan, only 9% of alcohol. Tastes nice tho'.

In this particular day as well, we need to shower with pomelo leaves hot shower. According to Chinese tradition, it's used to "pek che", get rid of those bad luck before the new year comes.

Before dinner, one of my uncle was trying to teach my another uncle how to play the easiest Mahjong.

Dinner time~ Yummy. *Chief cook, my dearest mom...

Manicure and pedicure... *Colorful can brings luck in the Ox Year.

Tanglong in front of my house... Gong Xi Fa Cai...

CFK

2009-01-20T19:35:00.006+08:00

I had KFC for my dinner just now, and I regret for it. And I am going to name it as "Chicken F*cking Kentucky". WTF. Really made me damn full and wanna vomit them out. FAT~~~~ I wonder why I still wanted to take it.

I attended Dr. Lai's class today and one thing she said really caught my mind:

"Be very mindful of what you put into your mouth."

Frying foods always taste good, the oil makes the foods "smooth" and "buttery". Bear in mind that fats content 9 Kcal/j whilst carbohydrate only content 4 Kcal/j. Try to notice those oil used to fry foods. Black particles (carbon/charcoal) formed after the oil being used for several times. Which is carcinogenic and can causes CANCER!! WTF

Dr. Lai was telling us about her visit to a Belacan Factory few years ago. What she experienced was, rats and cockroaches were playing "hide-and-seek" inside the factory. Since then, she never takes belacan anymore even though they taste nice. WTF.

On the other hand, grape is a very good antioxidant and has 100x more vitamin E. Those priceless essences are content in grape seeds and their skins. So don't spit out those seeds nor peel off the grape's skin. That is why grape seed oil is sells at very high price in the market. Guess what, I am using grape seed oil facial forms. I am so proud of it tho'..

Dear friends, my advice for you during Chinese New Year:

*Take care of your health, be mindful of what you gonna put into your mouth.

Along the way...

2009-01-19T14:48:00.005+08:00

I was walking from Biotech 3 to library this morning, usually takes me 15 minutes. Along the way, I thought a lot of my future once graduated from my university. I have no idea what tomorrow will brings.

At this moment, I hope for peace in the world. Then only I can think for a better future.

It's a long way to take, it might be rocky, harsh weather, long journey.... Along the way, I hope God will keeps me safe always.

p.s. Should I further my study to master degree?

Arrgg... I was overloaded

2009-01-17T23:51:00.011+08:00

환영 Welcome to Korean Restaurant

Been wanted to eat Korean food, the home cook Korean food for such a long time. Hence, Yian Yian brought me to a Korean restaurant at KL downtown (Skipping my lab work on Saturday, wtf). We went all along from UPM to Ampang, it probably took us 2 hours to reach there. It's FAR!! But worth it because... the foods are damn delicious.

Presenting the menu of the DAY by Yian Yian:

Didn't know which dishes to choose, they all look yummy.

Between, the restaurant also provides the costumers with newspapers. According to Yian Yian, majority of the costumers are KOREAN.

Yian:"I don't understand a damn word." LOL

I don't understand either.

Here we go~~

Starter only!! 12 plates

밥 먹자

Smell good~~ and look yummy~~

Main courses: Grill Chicken and Kimchi Soup

Grill Chicken

Kimchi Soup

Fresh Lettuce

Ahhh~ wrap it all together and a big bite!! Taste like garden, fantastic.

Frankly, we couldn't finished all of the foods, we were damn full and overloaded. Satisfied!! *Big burp!!

A cup of, ermmm... I don't know what they call it, taste like barley but it's actually rice. I love it.. It helps to sooth our overloaded tummy, perhaps.

Yian Yian was funny, she was trying to tongue out those rice from the cup. Todah todah!!! Eventually, we asked for more.

Used her tongue to lick out those rice

More cups....

Yian Yian, please behave!!! You looked funny!! Look at those pictures below:

#1, swirl it

#2, Tongued it out

#3, Tried to use her fingers

#4, Glurrt glurrt...

We wanted to ask some more, but shy shy =(. We were greedy, wtf.. haha..

p.s. Lesson 1: Don't order extra rice. Lesson 2: One main course is enough for 2 persons.

형제, 난 전체 오전 . 나는 한국 음식 사랑

--------------------------------------------------

We went to Pavilion, beautiful deco for Chinese New Year.

Blossom in Pink, Prosper in Red. Chinese New Year is drawing near...

Black bra in white means...?

Blossom in Pink, Prosper in Red

The Gold Bull of Prosperity

p.s. I want to buy a red color polo tee for my Chinese New Year. Hoping it could brings me prosperity this year.

Started to like my "library"

2009-01-12T21:16:00.002+08:00

Frankly, I never liked to go library neither study nor online in there. Which probably made me think that library is the best place for me to sleep, because of the quiet surrounding and cold air-conditioner. Between, I couldn't study in such a quiet cold place. I prefer lying down on my bed and listening to my favorite soothing jazz songs trying to do my revision.

Currently, this perception has changed since I moved back to my hostel after a long holiday staying over at my friend's house. The major reason is because the stupid uSpot isn't working and I keep delaying my assignment. Wtf... Sucks internet connection..

So, the solution is going to library to get myself online. Tell you what, the connection is fantastic even tho' not 100% perfect. So far, I still can upload photos into Facebook, play pet society and do my blogging. And now, I've done my assignment which I have to pass up tomorrow morning... hehe.. The effectiveness of doing homework/assignment in the library is slightly 30% higher than doing in the room where I tend to fall asleep on my comfy bed.

10.01.2009

2009-01-11T09:12:00.015+08:00

Again, Winnie and I back to BUSINESS.

The plan went so well and we got unexpected outcome...

A lil' pose before heading out..

I went to Subang Jaya Medical Centre (no, I am not sick)... to collect my uncle's medicine which he thinks is much more cheaper compare to Sabah's.

Actually we were about to call a cab from the concierge, but "BLOOD DONATION" had pulled me back. I was so excited and thought there was any blood donation campaign because it was "people mountain, people sea" inside the hospital. The concierge directed me to 5th floor of the building and that was when I ran to buy some foods to eat.

There was a bunch of guys in the same elevator with me which I predicted they wanted to donate blood as well. When we reached 5th floor, out of our surprise, there was no any blood donation campaign. The only thing we found was a BLOOD BANK. I didn't mind as long as I can donate my blood. To my surprise, those guys turned their bodies and walked away. Cowards!! WTF

I donated 380mL of my blood... *Cheers* I might probably saved a person that day..

Pain!!

Then after that, we called a cab to Sunway Pyramid.

First stop, Italiannies...

p.s.: Thanks to Winnie cause she finished most of the portion. The lessons we learnt: 1. No excess parmesan cheese. 2. No more pasta especially sauce in red color.

Started camwhoring after lunch...

Our dessert, crème brulee..

Oh~~ my pervert face!!!

Second stop, Forever 21..

Scotch dress

Office wear

Going to Thailand... cashed!!

Leopard lady... cashed

Messy!! Winnie, where were you?? I was looking for your help tho'

Third stop, Roxy...

In the fitting room.. I love the curtain.

Pyramid's deco for Chinese New Year.. Theme: Lotus

Ice Skating... (I can't ice skating for the moment, my foot still not recovered yet)

Final stop, STARBUCKS COFFEE...

Winnie with her green tea frappucino

My green tea latte

Acting cute with my iPod

Sunset

I was totally enjoyed myself sitting in the cold breeze listening to a band playing street jazz while looking out to the sky...

Revel in the soothing jazz

Somewhat, it was a great Saturday I had together with Winnie, without had to work in the lab for a day like crazy marathon running up and down.

F.I.N.E

2009-01-07T12:33:00.012+08:00

Freaked out. Insecure. Neurotic. Emotional.

I am totally FINE right now.

What I want right now is a big punch bag!! *********

Looking forward to Saturday, I just want to get out from here. Clear my mind and refresh myself.

p.s.: What is my resolution for this year?

From Food Biotechnology to knowledge

2009-01-03T19:01:00.002+08:00

First day of lecture in my new semester

FOOD BIOTECHNOLOGY

From Biotechnology to Food Biotechnology and Food Science, really fascinating and yet fun to gain knowledge.

We've been taught on the technologies used in Biotechnology followed by Biotech processes used in Food Biotech such as Enzyme Technology, Fermentation Technology and Tissue Culture. Food from Biotechnology is called Frankenstein Food, perhaps a little dramatic, but not altogether off the mark, Frankenstein Food (term in UK) is food that has had certain characteristics cut off, and others, perhaps from a different species, pasted in. Which is the major worry for citizens in Europe. Hence, we should eat "natural" foods instead of eating food being processed. The more original it looks, the more natural it would be. For example, rice.

Frankenstein Food

Apart from that, Dr. Lai also talked about melamine that caused death to many babies in china, which melamine has higher N (protein) that will causes kidney stone. Kjeldah Method can be used to measure the N molecules. A book she recommended us, "The Quest of EATING" where we can find out more about diseases caused from FOODS.

The most interesting part was when she moved from protein structure to the "Abu Simbel Structure", an archaeological site comprising two rock temples in southern Egypt.

It's worth to take a tour to have a look at this fantastic archaeology. And I might pay it a visit one day where Dr. Lai guaranteed us that even a highest sky-scraper in the world can't fight this unique structure. Awesome...

Well, I am looking forward to attend her lecture next week. Hoping to get more knowledge...

England vs Malaysia

2009-01-02T11:07:00.002+08:00

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS

Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outle ts for you.

Malaysians: No Stock.

RETURNING A CALL

Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?

Malaysians: Hello, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY

Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?

Malaysians: S-kew me

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY

Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.

Malaysians:No-need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION

Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?

Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ar?

WHEN ENTERTAINING

Britons: Please make yourself right at home.

Malaysians: Don't be shy, lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE

Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.

Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Malaysians: Don't want la...

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're
coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Malaysians: You mad, ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Malaysians: Shut up lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time.. Do I know you?
Malaysians: See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: We seem to be in a b it of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die-lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians: Wat happen Why like that....

WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you,
Malaysians: like that also don't know how to do!!!!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me
Malaysianselaka u...

Goodbye 2008, Welcome 2009

2009-01-01T07:47:00.029+08:00

I suppose, 2008 had been a great year for me. I met Winnie (precisely, I met her on my first semester but scarcely talked to her. The chemistry in us started to react when we both found out that we love shopping very much, something in common tho'. I think she had scattered her "madwitch spell" over me, and being listed as a shopping in crime), currently my roommate. We love Starbucks coffee so much, especially green tea latte, addicted to it very much so. Crazy for dresses.. wtf... etc.. Just mad and crazy..=)

Well, 2008 had to an end, here we go, 2009. Bye 2008 and welcome 2009. A brand new year with brand new life.

On the New Year eve, a bunch of us went to Putrajaya that we thought there'd be any fireworks, but frankly, nothing. Quiet a disappointment. But we did enjoy, the countdown.

Before that, we went for dinner at Alamanda, Putrajaya. It was my first time there tho'.

Been thinking over for 20 minutes which restaurant should we go.

Looking at the directory

Finally, we chose 'Penang Village'.

Nasi lemak Penang

Pumpkin fried rice (Carynn's)

He was acting like a kid that refused to go after he wet his shoes upon stepping into the pool.

Night view at Putrajaya...

Waiting for the NEW YEAR to come...

Waited impatiently...

Camwhoring....

10, 9, 8, 7,...., 3, 2, 1!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR

And then, we left...

Well, New Year is just a symbol to start over everything that isn't well going from the previous year. Life goes on, let's just live everyday as if it's your last day. Forget the past, the pain (no pain, no gain), and those ass-kissing suckers (fuck off please).

I want to embark on a journey to explore a whole new world untouched by the frantic pace of everyday life in this 2009. First, I want to learn diving, join Raleigh International to do something extraordinary with my life, make a difference in the world and make new friends along the way. Then contribute my strength to the communities after discovering my potential. Maybe visit New Zealand... Way too far to think of.